Friday's Internet Edition, November 21, 2008.
By Betsy Monico
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| THE FAIRFIELD LADY EAGLES junior varsity team, with some freshmen players, won the Teague tournament over the weekend. |
I am full of emotions more than anything this Christmas season. Since April when I discovered my “lump” that I knew would not take my life, but simply be a “bump” in the road, I have been busy fighting cancer! After six months of chemotherapy and now 15 days of radiation, it came to an end today. Starting tomorrow, for the first time in 8 months, I will have a break from the Sammons Cancer Center and do not have to return until late January for a scan and then in February for a doctor’s appointment. What does it feel like to be done? I will have to cover that next week because the feeling walking out of the door cancer free is too much to put into words right now.
I have cried at least once a day the past week, mostly happy tears, but I must admit a few tears of frustration because the daily trips to Dallas have worn me out and I have felt “tested.” My schedule is mine again as of today. I will no longer be in the hands of the nice receptionists that call and say where and when I need to be there. I guess the best way to describe it is that I no longer will have to share my life with cancer. If we want to stay home and bake cookies, covering my floor in flour and sprinkles, we can do it! If I want to go and color with the precious children at Best Friends Daycare, I can do it! I am as free as the red bird that I saw yesterday perched on a tree in my backyard. The storm is over! We made it! Oh, thank you God that you brought me through this trial alive and with stories to tell forever of Your Greatness and Mercy! Joy comes to mind, yeah, that is this emotion I am feeling the most.
I spoke last week with my friend Callie and she shares my joy because her battle has nearly been won. She is still in the nursing home off of Greenville Avenue. She is doing well and has gained weight and strength. Callie does return to Sammons in January to begin four more months of chemotherapy. Her prognosis is great and her spirits are up. She told me all about the beautiful and festive decorations where she lives. They have church there on Sundays and when the patients are not able to attend, a pastor makes his or her rounds and brings church to them. She has been one of the blessings along the way that I will never forget.
Mixed in with the joy, just like the red and white woven together in a candy cane, I am sad. I am sad for the many people I have met at Baylor that are fighting cancer and losing. Mine is over, but my heart literally breaks for my friends that will not be home for Christmas. Maxine Watson from Tyler is living in an apartment in Richardson. She has chemotherapy every Thursday and radiation daily. Even though she is weak and tired, she still gets dressed up everyday. She puts on her make-up, looks beautiful, and praises God with her smile as she holds onto the railing and makes her way down the hallways at Sammons.
Preston, the twenty year old with brain cancer, will not get a break from his fight either just because it is the holidays. I have not seen him again, but have checked on him through others. I found myself laying down on the radiation table and thinking only 3 more, only 2 more, and now only 1 more, and truly feeling sorry for the others that are not close to a countdown. There may not even be a countdown in sight!
Somewhere in the wintry mix, along with joy and sadness, I felt surprised and angry too this week. Have you ever thought you knew what you were getting in a package, but opened up a gift and felt totally surprised? I remember when my brother Ben was 3 or 4 and opened up a gift at Mammaw’s house expecting to find a big truck or tractor, but discovered a doll. It was a little boy Madame Alexander doll dressed in navy and white trousers and had blonde hair, just like Ben did at the time. It surprised the heck out of him and made him pretty mad, so he threw the doll across the room.
My surprise was last week when I took off my black sweater and the collar was covered in hair. I stood in the mirror and pulled out handfuls of hair from along my neckline. I was really mad at first, but luckily, no where else was effected. The radiation that they zap me with from the back must get close enough to my hairline to have once again caused hair loss. Oh well, it is only in one area and that will stop after tomorrow. I will not be Farrah Fawcett again by the New Year, but I do have hair.
Full of emotions and full of life, that seems to wrap this up just like a neatly wrapped parcel left under the tree until Christmas morning. If you, like my gas tank, are running on “E” already, fill up on this from Isaiah 9. It begins with “Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress.” Verse 6 picks up with “For to us a Child is born, to us a Son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” I am not sure which I need the most this year. What about you? Whether you are in need of a Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, or Prince of Peace, they all came in Jesus. A Christmas without Jesus must be empty. Make it full this year! The choice is yours.