Saturday's Internet Edition, May 17, 2008.
By Betsy Monico
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| A $1,000 DONATION to Freestone County Relay for Life is made by Kory Jumper of Fairfield as an individual sponsor. Pictured is Kory Jumper, center, and relay volunteers. |
When I saw U.S. Oncology on my Caller ID, I admit that there was a familiar feeling deep in my stomach and I sat down. I have written this before, but even though I truly feel like God has healed me, there is still that moment of doubt where the "What if…" steps in. Call it a lack of faith, human nature, or whatever you want, but it is a real feeling that rears it's ugly head for a few minutes and is followed by an overwhelming "Thank you, God."
I sat at my kitchen table alone after I hung the phone up and said those two simple words more times than I could count. "Thank you, Lord" may sound small and simple, but it is really enormous.
What does this mean? It means that I am free as a bird until August and then I only have to have a chest x-ray, no scans! (Notice that I am ending every sentence with an exclamation point because I am so excited!) I feel like I have been handed a first class ticket to the best summer of my life! I learned the value of life and simplicity last year when we were all home together for a few months, but I was too weak to really enjoy it. I sadly can not really remember much of last summer because I was in survival mode. We did take fun trips with both sets of grandparents, Uncle Ben, Aunt Angie, and Uncle Darin. We filled up our pool, if you can call it that, and the kids splashed around like maniacs on the back porch to beat the heat. (Bosque, the one I call my "Hunk-A, Hunk-A Burning Love," does a belly flop that is worthy of applause every time.)
I remember delicious casseroles being delivered on a daily basis and eating lots of popsicles. I am determined that this summer will not be a blur and taking a proactive approach with my thoughts and planning.
I am reading a new book that is called "One Month to Live" by Kerry and Chris Shook from The Woodlands. The front cover says "THIRTY DAYS TO A NO-REGRETS LIFE." I was not drawn to this book at first. In fact, when I first spotted it at the bookstore in Dallas, I was jealous of it and wanted to hide all of the available copies behind a junky romance novel in the fiction section. I was jealous because I felt like this successful preacher and his beautiful wife had stolen by book idea! One week later I found out that my old Dallas Church, Lake Highland's Baptist, was using the book as a series of studies for the entire church. Well, well, well, I gave it a chance and started reading it!
The authors illustrate my heart's desire so well that even if I plan on living well into my nineties and drinking sweet tea on my porch with a bunch of grandchildren, I want to live, starting right now, like death is near. I want a no regrets, nothing held back life. This book teaches that! It says what I have been trying to say in most of my columns in a proper, professional, without any snake stories kind of way! My quiet time with the Lord focusing on the scripture readings and questions in the book are leading me to some serious thinking! This is definitely exclamation point kind of stuff, and way more than just ending each day with a declarative statement and an old dot. I am about tired of life that just goes on, and on, and on, dot after dot. I want more exclamation point moments, where ever they may come. I may find them at baseball practices or my kitchen counter while we bake cakes with fresh strawberries from the Chaver's farm. I am looking for moments in life that mean something and that my family will remember. An anonymous quote at the start of day 2 of "One Month to Live" sums it up like this: "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."